


Love Notes

by dcisamtyler



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:34:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25140076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dcisamtyler/pseuds/dcisamtyler
Summary: After the Doctor has to erase his companion's memory, he misses her. He decides to visit and leave her little notes.Loosely inspired by this prompt on Tumblr: https://otp--prompty.tumblr.com/post/190575911745/otp-au-3.Disclaimer: Reader uses she/her pronouns in this fic.
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor/Reader, Eleventh Doctor/You, The Doctor (Doctor Who)/Reader, The Doctor (Doctor Who)/You
Kudos: 47





	Love Notes

Why did this tree have to be so skinny? The Doctor’s eyes followed the trunk up to its leaves in frustration as he tried his best to awkwardly blend in with the brown bark, all tweed suit, and blood-red bowtie. Calm, cool, casual. Nothing to see here. Definitely not an alien from another planet watching a human in a park that he hadn’t met before. Well, at least by her memory.

The Doctor exhaled, peering carefully around the tree, his gaze set on a girl sitting on a park bench digging relentlessly through her bag. She seemed to be looking for something in particular, but he wasn’t sure what could be that important. He watched curiously as she pulled various objects out of her bag – a small bag of peanuts, a fistful of crumpled receipts, a pack of peppermint gum she always chewed. She quickly emptied the bag onto the bench in a spot next to her thigh, much to the chagrin of the people sitting by her.

His eyebrows furrowed. Where could it have gone? She had taken all of that stuff out of her bag and yet, somehow, none of it was the fancy piece of parchment he had folded up nice and tight and placed in her bag twenty minutes before he decided to hide behind (or casually stick out from) this tree. He pursed his lips, debating whether or not he should or could casually intervene, his brain spinning the dial of excuses when she pulled out two more things – a set of keys and that very same folded up piece of parchment.

She raised an eyebrow at it as she dropped the keys into her lap, moving to open the parchment. As her eyes scanned the paper, she glanced around at the people sitting around her. None of them could have put it in her bag. She had been sitting there with them for an hour and none of them had moved. The Doctor’s hearts began to skip as her eyes returned to the paper.

Her face went from frustration to pure confusion to something that Doctor believed was happiness until she covered her face with both hands, thick tears dripping through her fingers onto the parchment. The girl dabbed tears from her eyes, trying desperately to avoid smudging her mascara in the middle of a public park, surrounded by strangers, who may or may not have secretly dropped a note into her bag.

The Doctor swallowed hard, looking away and leaning his back against the tree. That surely wasn’t the intent of the little note. He wanted her to smile. To feel happy for once. 

What did he do wrong? He ran a hand over his face and quickly glanced back at the girl. She was reading the note again, shaking her head in disbelief. He looked at his watch. He had to get this right. With one more glance, he walked back to the TARDIS, believing he could fix this. He could fix anything. Well, almost anything.

He learned that with her.

After all, that girl wasn’t just any girl. That was Y/N. His previous companion.

Not that she would remember. Not after the terrible trip to the Nocturne Peninsula where the telepathic inhabitants plagued her mind with such an unbearable pain that even the Doctor couldn’t properly fix without wiping her mind of his entire existence. It was the worst possible solution.

It ripped through his chest. He had to ignore her screams and physical protests as he took her back home, back to her bedroom where he cradled her face and held back sobs as she went blank behind the eyes, unable to recognize the man softly pressing his fingers into her temples. He had to close his eyes as he let go, all of it flashing through his head one after another, the tears falling down his cheeks.

When he got back onto the TARDIS, seeing a console room without her cheerful smile hurt. A shiver ran down his spine as he could see her like a ghost, mouth turned into a scream as she writhed in pain from the Nocturne telepathy. He remembered how she gripped onto his wrists with all her strength, trying to take them from her head, trying to stop him from doing this to her. But he couldn’t stop. He couldn’t let her live with that. It was too risky. It could kill her in the long run.

As he shook his head to clear his mind of the bad moments, he needed to focus on the positives with her: riding all the roller coasters in the Mars-themed amusement park on the Desert Peninsula until he got dizzy, how she steadied him, looking into his eyes with a soft smile. How they walked through the London Zoo in cheesy safari hats and gushed over all the cute animals. How he bought her a soft monkey plush because she begged him to let her steal one of the real ones. How they always fell asleep together in the TARDIS library, his head on her shoulder after reading a nonfiction novel together.

All that time together was gone in the blink of an eye. A lean of the forehead. All because he was too selfish and insisted they go to the Nocturne Peninsula instead of where she wanted to go, Egypt to sit on the Great Pyramid of Giza.

He would give anything to go to Egypt with her now. He’d give anything to see that smile widen on her face as they stepped out of the TARDIS in front of the Great Sphinx of Giza. She always loved Ancient Egyptian history. And now, maybe she would get to go to Cairo, but it wouldn’t be the same.

The Doctor knew he couldn’t move on. She was the best thing for him. The yin to his yang. The bow to his tie. He couldn’t completely let her go. So, he didn’t.

It all started with one trip for purely selfish reasons. He simply wanted to visit, to see how she was doing without him in this new life. He swore he wouldn’t interact with her if it came down to it. Well, maybe a hello. Maybe a short conversation that didn’t lead to anything more than a forgettable interaction that would mean nothing to her but mean everything to him.

This trip is when he realized that this boring life wasn’t meant for her. She was all alone, sinking into depression, a deep unhappiness that he knew just by looking at her face.

The first time, after searching all over, he spotted her at the park with a thick nonfiction novel (her favorite), watching the ducks as they waddled in and out of the pond. The book was open in her lap as if she got distracted. Instead, she stared at the ducks with a look so glazed over the Doctor wanted to wave a hand in front of her eyes just to get her out of it.

With him, she would have been devouring that book all over creation – the console room, the kitchen table, in bed, curled up in a chair in the library. If she had her choice, she’d probably read it curled up in another century. Yet, now her gaze remained unmoved and unchanged, the book unread, like her mind was somewhere else entirely.

It startled him.

He could have lived in the softness in her eyes before the Peninsula, and now it seemed like there was nothing behind them.

It was his fault. A girl with an intelligence like that? She wasn’t meant for a mediocre life lived alone. A mind like that was made for a life among the stars. A life with him.

After the emotions of the first visit, he decided to get a little risky with the second. He decided he would talk to her. He missed her voice more than anything and he would have given an arm or a leg in his next regeneration just to hear her say hello to him.

So he did what any smart Time Lord would do. He stumbled across her sitting on the stoop in front of her house as she watched the sky, leaning against her door. She had the same expression as before, lost, and dazed. He wondered if some part of her remembered being there, remembered holding onto the TARDIS as she tried reaching out and touching the stars.

“Hello,” he said, awkwardly waving at her.

“Hi.”

The Doctor stopped. He didn’t think about what to do after the hello. He cleared his throat. “Wonderful weather we’re having.”

The girl gave a noncommittal hum. The Doctor mentally kicked himself, mumbling, “Okay, have a great day, love," and walking in the direction of the TARDIS, wondering how he could be such a bloody idiot.

It certainly wasn’t the way he thought it was going to go. He needed to do something that didn’t involve talking to her. She was so sad and he hated seeing it. He needed to make her smile.

After the visit, he sat in the jump seat of the TARDIS, feet up, thinking of what he could do for her to cheer her up. Nothing too extravagant or fancy. Something simple to brighten up her day without meddling too much in her life.

He glanced over at the drawing pad he had while drawing up ways to fix the TARDIS and it felt like a light bulb appeared over his head.

He would leave her little simple notes of encouragement.

*******

Of course, the first attempt didn’t exactly go as planned. He meant to drop it in front of Y/N, but instead, he dropped it in front of an elderly lady wearing too much makeup, who immediately scooped it up, read it, and winked at him.

The second, dropped into Y/N’s bag in the park, led to her bursting into tears.

Was it too much? He needed to try again. Third time’s the charm, right?

He scribbled something nice, something personal, onto another piece of parchment, folded it up and placed it in his suit pocket.

Thrumming with nervousness, he punched a few coordinates in the TARDIS console, hung on, and landed on another day where she was sitting on the outside of a coffee shop with the same book. She was sitting alone this time – no elderly old ladies or awkward park strangers to ruin the moment.

He swallowed hard. He needed to be casual. As he spotted her sitting alone at the little table, he plucked the note out of his pocket and began walking towards her, letting it drop right by her feet. It made an obvious noise, and she looked up at his back, but he kept walking around the corner, waiting, peering out from behind it. His nervous eyes watched her. Once again, she glanced around, swallowed, and read the note. She laughed softly to herself in disbelief, a smile tugging at her lips.

The Doctor looked away, his own face falling into a soft smile. He ran a hand through his hair and went to go glance at her again when he realized she was staring at him. His hearts stopped at once, and she waved at him. The Doctor hesitated, but she nodded at the chair in front of her.

He walked over slowly, feeling like a dog with its tail between its legs. He had no idea what she was going to say to him. Could she be angry? Did he cross a line?

But when he stood in front of her, his hands nearly shaking, her eyes were filled with amusement.

“I’m sor—” he started to say when she put a hand up to stop him, shaking her head.

“I was wondering if I’d get another one of those,” Y/N said, meeting his gaze. “Actually, I was hoping.”

“Oh, I-I’m glad you like them.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Who are you?”

The Doctor couldn’t believe he was standing there with her. For once in his thousands of years of living, his mind went blank. 

He couldn't think of anything but how the light hit her eyes the right way. “John – John Smith,” he managed to get out.

Y/N nodded. “Well, John, I’m Y/N. Would you like to have coffee with me?”

The Doctor’s eyes widened. “I’d love to.”


End file.
